Ah, but if only it were that easy. Obviously, no business likes to lose customers, but tragically it seems that many businesses also have no problem lying through their teeth to keep said customers. I called Sprint to see about terminating my contract with no ETF–early results were less than stellar.

The first rep I talked to informed me that while my line did indeed qualify for ETF-free cancellation, my partner’s line did not. In my fog-of-cell-phone-war state, I did not have the presence of mind to tell her that my partner’s line had been added within the last 30 days, and thus could be returned with no ETF regardless of their text messaging charges. So, I thanked her for her time, waited ten minutes and called back.
The second fellow fought me tooth and nail. No way he was going to let me walk without paying that fee. No matter what I said, he had an answer. Sample exchange:

Me: Well, look, I don’t have a text messaging plan, so if I send or receive any text messages, this is going to have an “adverse material effect” on me.
Rep: Sir, you haven’t used text messaging in the last month, so it wouldn’t affect you. Now I can offer you 500 free text messages…blah blah bah.

Needless to say, after going around and around and around for ten minutes or so, I thanked the rep for his time and hung up.

The third time was, as they say, a charm. This rep tried to sell me on 500 free text messages a month, then 1000, then finally Unlimited free text messages. Needless to say, I declined each time. When it became clear that he would not be convincing me to stay with Sprint, he informed me, much in the same way as the first rep, that my phone was eligible, but I would have to pay the ETF for my partner’s line. I had wised up since my first encounter, and informed him that since that line was still within the 30-day return period, I in fact did not have pay any ETF. He relented and applied the code to my account. I took down his name and badge number just in case something went awry, as these things often do in the world of “customer service”.

In the next few days, I called twice to make sure that the “No ETF” code had been applied to my account, and both reps I spoke to informed me that it had been applied. I ported our numbers to T-Mobile and looked forward to the arrival of my final Sprint bill so I could wash my hands of the company. The bill came, I paid it, and I thought I was “free and clear” (apologies for the pun).

As I should have known, that was not the case. I received another notification from Wells Fargo saying that I had another bill from Sprint for the amount of $136.76 Needless to say, I was curious, so I called Sprint one more time to say what was going on. The rep I spoke to informed me that the bill reflected my $200 ETF minus some kind of refund for a month of service. I collected myself for a second and asked why I had been charged the ETF. She told me that I had cancelled my service while I was still in contract, so I had been charged the ETF.

My mind boggled. I told her that I had spoken with someone previously who had assured me I would not be charged any ETF, and had even followed up on two separate occasions to ensure that the code had been properly applied. Apparently feeling that I might have a point, she deigned to read the notes on my account, something she perhaps should have done already. After perusing the notes for what seemed like an eternity, she contritely offered to credit me the $200 fee, meaning that I would end up with a credit on my account in the amount of some eighty-odd dollars. Of course, I accepted, but will surely follow up within the next week to make sure something else has not gone wrong.

Lessons learned: never, ever trust a cell phone company to do anything they say they will. Always get the rep’s name and badge number, and document when you called/what action was taken. On the whole, these companies are full of liars, cheats and scoundrels and will screw you whenever it will make them an extra buck or two.
We’ve got a one year contract with T-Mobile now and are pleased with the service and phones, but even more pleased that we don’t have to be prisoner to a cell phone provider for longer than we deem reasonable.

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]]> http://jonahble.wordpress.com/2006/10/22/ouch-my-feelings/feed/ 0 n/a Logo http://jonahble.wordpress.com/2006/10/01/5/ http://jonahble.wordpress.com/2006/10/01/5/#comments Sun, 01 Oct 2006 17:38:45 +0000 Jonah http://jonahble.wordpress.com/2006/10/01/5/ ]]> the days when the son

of the last encyclopedia salesman

trudged from door to door,

sun-stricken and listing to the left,

heir to a crooked back

and a broken bookstrap.

for the projectionists:

artfully placed cigarette burns

in slide corners,

subtle eyelid reach-around,

rolling hidden reels.